We all recognize failure when we see it. Success sometimes is harder to spot.
Years ago, when I worked for a technology company in Birmingham, I hired a seasoned salesperson who appeared to have a great track record of success. We were excited about getting him; everyone expected this guy to be an important contributor.
One of the things that made him stand out from others interviewing for his job was his impressive commitment to family. He coached his children’s sports teams and attended all their after-school activities. He was a devoted husband, too. In fact, he was the perfect example of a family-first kind of businessperson.
And that’s fine … if you can also successfully handle the business part.
This guy could not. He never really sold much of anything. Well, let me correct that: He did make one big sale and that was getting me to hire him! After that, he was a complete bust. I then understood why he moved to a new company every 12 to 24 months. It wasn’t that he was a rainmaker looking for new and more lucrative opportunities. He had to leave because he wasn’t contributing. Our company was just another job that allowed him the opportunity to be successful outside of the office.
You might be thinking that not everyone can be as successful at what they do as, say, Thomas Edison—the man who invented the phonograph, the motion-picture camera and the electric light bulb. He held more than 1,000 U.S. patents.
There’s no question that Mr. Edison was a huge success. Or is there? With his family, it seems, Edison was a total disaster.
According to Don’t Leave It to the Children: Starting, Building and Sustaining a Family Business by Alan Crosbie, Edison was the poster child for what-not-to-be as a husband and father. He rarely slept at home. His lack of personal hygiene actually drove his first wife mad. When his children would write to their mother from boarding school, he would intercept their letters and respond by cruelly pointing out spelling and grammar errors. He didn’t encourage his children nor did he tell them he loved them. At one point, his 16-year-old son Thomas wrote to him saying, “Because you are so far my superior in every way … when I am in your presence I am perfectly helpless.”
Yikes! Not exactly the self-image most of us would want to see in our child.
Both of these men are shining examples of success in one area of their lives. But that’s not enough. I’ll be the first to tell you that it’s impossible to be successful at absolutely everything, however it’s vitally important to be successful at more than one thing.
Success in only one area of life isn’t real success. As I’ve said for years now, true success is about succeeding in multiple areas of your life. A truly successful life is a balanced life. You’ve probably heard the adage “No man on his deathbed ever said ‘I wish I had spent more time at the office.’” Well, maybe Edison would have said that, but that’s my point.
The first step toward true success is to define what success looks like in your life. This is harder than most people think. There are a lot of mixed messages and opinions about success. For most of our lives, family, friends, teachers, parents, spouses, mentors, bosses, the media, etc., have offered us their definitions of success.
The one good thing about all these opinions is that they touch on many various aspects of life. This big-picture approach to success is crucial, but it must be your own approach.
Figure out what’s really important to you, and work toward your goals with a strong sense of balance. Strive for success in and out of your office, with family and with work, in your private and your public life. That’s the key to true success.
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