When a leader is described as “firm,” what crosses your mind? Do you picture someone who is tough or hard or rigid? Do you expect someone who is unapproachable or uncompromising?

Imagine a scenario where a CEO advises an executive to “be firm” with an employee. The mental image may involve a serious, potentially confrontational conversation involving a stern expression and maybe even a raised voice from the executive.

It doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, it shouldn’t be that way.

In my professional journey, I’ve had the privilege of working closely with a highly successful female CEO who is a remarkable example of a leader who embodies firmness without resorting to being tough on people. I’ve watched her expertly navigate high-stakes conversations, appropriately address inappropriate behavior, and adeptly steer necessary changes in established business practices.

Through it all and time after time, her approach is characterized by calmness and compassion. She manages to maintain both a relaxed demeanor and an unwavering commitment to her decisions.

An executive dealing with personnel issues or addressing business challenges need not be abrasive or rough. That successful female CEO I reference here is proof of that, and she’s proof that a balanced approach works best.

It is crucial to understand that being firm stands apart from the negative energy associated with being tough. When a leader is tough, they inadvertently create an environment that feels unsafe for others to respond. In such situations, the core message can easily be missed, leading to an unintended and counterproductive impact on individual conversations and on entire companies. The result is low morale. And increased turnover. And general bad feelings.

To cultivate a more effective leadership style, aspiring executives should aim for firmness instead of toughness.